january 29th,04
huahhuaaua
kangen ayang ih sebel....pada kemana yah dia?
hmmm...kok tiba-tiba menghilang begitu saja?
apa dia buat komitmen baru kalo di tahun yang baru kagak mau selingkuh lagi?
hmm.. yang pasti seneng banget waktu call dia masih ingat namaku..
sometimes it is torturing but i'm glad he's alive
ain't that all your prayers were about?;o)

bahasa jerman bikin addicted! heiheihiehie kali karena banyakan
HausAufgabe jadinyah setiap hari sentuh bukunya moloww!:P
semoga deh bisa mengerti sedikit demi sedikit lol
ich gern deutschkurs:P

ps. fur Lehrerin: meinchmal sie ist dumm! hUIAhAHIAIHAIHIA...

-----------------
ON THE WINGS OF PRAYER
[on behalf of Els : u are the teacher!]

Just close your eyes and open your heart
and feel your worries and cares depart,
just yield yourself to the Father above
and let Him hold you secure in His love-
for life on earth grows more involved
with endless problems that can't be solved-
but God only asks us to do our best,
then He will "take over" and finish the rest
so when you're tired, discouraged and blue,
there's always one door that is open for you-
and that is the door to "the house of prayer"
and you'll find God waiting to meet you there,
and "the house of prayer" is no farther away
than the quiet spot where you kneel and pray-
for the heart is a temple when God is there
as we place ourselves in His loving care,
and He hears every prayer and answers each one
when we pray in His name "thy will be done"-
and the burdens that seemed too heavy to bear
are lifted away on "the wings of prayer"

SOMEONE SOMEWHERE

someone somewhere must have said
a little prayer for me
i know now how it came about-
but quietly, secretly
the weight was lifted from my heart
there came a strange relief
a sudden relaxation, from the tyranny of grief
the love of life stole in once more,
like sunshine after rain;
the future beckoned and i followed
finding joy again.
i know how it happened, it was all mystery
but someone somewhere must have said
a little prayer for me..

ONLY PASSING BY

we are only passing by, we are not here to stay
life is like a pelgrimage we pass upon our way
from birth to death, for the road is durty, dark and long
and others tread a fair and flowery pathway with a song
but we are only passing by;
our destination lies far byond the golden reaches of the evening skies
life on earth is just a brief adventure of the soul
as it travels ever towards to an unseen goal
make it now that gesture of forgiveness and love;
do it now, while there is light e'er darkness falls above.
when we see the permanence of earth and sea and sky
often we forget, that we are only passing by

ROOM W/OUT A DOOR

the mind is a room without a door
open to whatever passes by
influence from the outer world enter
through the ear and through the eye
thoughts come pressing in upon the brain
right or wrong unceasing hour by hour
striving for the mystery within,
good and evil forces seizing power
the mind is like a room without a door
open to the vagrant thoughts that roam
seeking for a place to occupy
restless spirits looking for a home
so the will must stand a sentinel
ready with the question "who was there?"

SEARCH YOUR HEART

if you say you have no cares
then selfish you must be;
can you hug your happiness and your security
knowing that beyond the door
there's misery and grief?
people crying out for help,
for comfort and relief..
you cannot feed the hungry
millions of the world outside
you cannot ease their sufferings
as for their wants profide,
but in your own small circle
there is somebody in need
of love and companionship
it is not a virtue to exsist contentedly
if you never think of others "HAPPY" you may be
but search your heart
and if you're honest, you will never rest,
till someone else is happy too
and someone else is blessed.

EVERYWHERE ACROSS THE LAND YOU SEE GOD'S FACE AND TOUCH HIS HAND

each time you look up in the sky
or watch the fluffy clouds drift by
or feel the sunshine warm and bright
or watch the dark night turn to light
or hear a bluebird gayly sing
or see the winter turn to spring
or stop to pick a daffodil
or gather violets on some hill
or touch a leaf or see a tree
it's all God whispering "this is Me..
and I am faith and I am light
and in Me there shall be no night"

desperado prayer:
Duh Gusti nyuwun ngapuro, paringono bojo ngganteng, sak ngganteng nngantee menuso...

xixixixixix...asal yah tapi yah gpp maklum baru diajarin jadi yah diapalin..kali aja salah cara nulisnya, who careslah as long as u got the idea!:P
woalahh beberapa hari ini adanya olaharaga aja udah hIAHAHAHHAa..sibuk pisan euy;p *gayaa* pokoknya mondar mandir ajah deh keknya rentalan dah pada bosen liat wajahku hUAHHAHAUHA harap maklum yah, kalo gua punya printer juga ga bakalan show up ke rental-rental kalian itu...xixixixi
semoga diberkatilah diriku ini biar bapaknya mau-mau aja acc skripsi gua hieheheie..by the way "pada dasarnya saya setuju..." ughh i love that old man!:P
ajubilee..lagunya asek tenan..if i could turn back the hands of time..heihehie gpp lah ga usah turn back the time, but i wish i had a chance to touch u [one more time] then i'll b glad joinin u in silent :)

p.s. aku berdamai dengan diriku heiheheiheiie;)

hmm... luv ya for no reason ;)

oct 30,2003
22.07
the last fasting <>

. no conversation. aneh!!
whats on ur mind?
tidak kosong. pusing...

. naik monyet?? beuh..berdoa saja agar dia bertobat!!
heran, sepertinya dia tidak pernah merasa secure
TERANCAM!!
monyet adalah stress
dan stress adalah MENULAR
atau DITULARI, there's no better word.
monyet adalah HEDONIS
dan hedonis dia menumpul
monyet adalah KEHILANGAN!
dan kehilangan dia adalah hatinya
monyet adalah RAHASIA
karena yang dia inginkan adalah menjadi ICON
dalam benakmu, dalam hatimu
sebenarnya
monyet adalah VIRUS
and i'm fucking sick knowing
that i'm infected..

. tak ada kata yang dapat mendeskripsikan seorang M.O.N.Y.E.T
kecuali STOP affair, marry someone and settle down OR
D.I.E. instead !!

==============in[V]ect.ion=================

17.12.03
Can You Keep A Secret??

when the dog bites, when the bee stings, aku hanya perlu mengingat
bahwa aku punya pacar - dan tiba-tiba segalanya tidak terlalu tampak
berantakan [ispired by The Sound of Music]

orang yang tidak dikenal artinya mereka menguap ke udara, tidak pernah
terlihat lagi!

set dah..knape kalimat [DT] selalu touching...hebat banget..ga mungkin kalo cuman
sekedar NULIS doang..pasti ada reason behind..dengerin ajah:

Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?
bener-bener a question of life. apa mereka belajar filsafat apa yah??
lalu :
They say, "Life is too short,"
"The here and the now"
And "You're only given one shot" [remember that always!]
But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that we've got?

If I die tomorrow
I'd be all right
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on
Whoahhh kagak tahan dengernyahhhhh!!:(

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I'm not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

"Move on, be brave
Don't weep at my grave
Because I am no longer here
But please never let
Your memory of me disappear" << andainya ada yang bilang gini..

Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again
Victoria's real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that I'm here
It's perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means

Hopefully i can be finally peace with my mind..with you.


januari 12th,04
dah beberapa saat ini stuck..on my mind.kayak ada yang ilang..emang ilang sih..
resahh buset emang iya:P bleH..hanya satu dalam pikiran: are u alrite??
ga ada yang lebih anxious dari itu..kalo denger delivered wuichh..senengnyah
tapi kalo pending rese pisan xixix untunglah ada temen-temen yang selalu
stand *.*
sekarang dah rada lega, i have to move on.this is a new year.and someday
u must love me..
---------------
i know u've changed. but i dont know why.maybe wrong person i don't know..
god, give me strength.kuatkanlah kakiku untuk selalu menapak dalam jalanMU.

jan 13th,04
11.25 am

this is what i call world is a round..

baru pulang...bleh kenape seh pake acara pindah segala?? mana kagak dibilang lagi pindah kemana..aku nelp aja semua nomor..selalu aja bilangnya dah pindah, ya udah pulang..ngurusin skripsi bab 5..kamis liat lagi perkembangannya..kejar tayang aku harus ke jakarta by the end of january shit...
by the way banyak yang aneh deh..mo ceritain juga neh blogger bakal dibaca banyak orang..jadi ga enak nulisnya heiehe but whatta hell.. this is my blog anywayz..
it's kinda bother me ye know..itchy! it's really a circle and i dont think i will like this circumstance. when u care people, u dont want somethin in return, thats what i always look up to. but why then suddenly u want it pay back?? emotionally pay back..silly gut! maybe to cover the worries inside or to eliminate the longing,whats the diff ?
This is what you want..if this is the way u got peace in mind and soul, i will do it for you. consider it as my pay back..

slowly but sure..i will hate you in regret

jan 10th,04

remuk. ada yang hilang.

i lost my soul.....

jan 06,04

bleHh..baru sembuh sakit..jelek yah kalimatnya heihehhe tahun baru kok sakit hihhih tapi gak apa apa..behind my illness banyak banget yang dah terjadii!!!! heihehieiehe tunggu aja deh kalo dah sembuh baru kuat ngetiknyahh:)

happy new year everybody!