halo lagee...*basi bgt deh* lol cuex ah emang gua pikirin...anyway tadi BT LULUS!!! hihhihii semua blog aku hari ini isinya itu ajah heihehiee pegimana kagak seneng, yang maju aja dah pesimis getu hihhii plus besok mau ngacir ke salatiga dolo jalan-jalan ama Meli, BT, Kay ama aku ! asekk kan??;) trus senen ntar baru balik. anyway kakak mau ke makasar dia mah by the end of this month, hiksss pengen ikutannnnn!! tapi yah mana boleh, ditambah sakit gini rada-rada lelet deh sensornya...
ehh dah 2 minggu ini main saham, seneng juga akhirnya di list 1 kemaren trakhir hihihi, mana adalah pengetahuan portofolio getu, adanya juga just follow the guts!..baru tahu deh rasanya ga tidur mikirin saham hari esok tetep bertahan ga yah di titik itu ajubile buset...pegimana kagak cepet jantungan yah para orang kaya itu?? weleh...
hmmm..ngomongin apa yah..dah 2 bulan ini basi bgt..mau nelpon ga bisa, sms kagak dibales..nasebb deh..kalo telpon juga mana ada bisa ngomong whoahh kagak enak bgt:/
ya dah sayah mah going through life aja, someday juga gua dapet enaknya hehehe*sok pede*

tradahhh....!

sayah pulangggggggg!!;) cuman yah baru bisa ngisi sekarang soalnya abis balik saya langsung kena virus lagee..heran..padahal dah pake proteksi hadiah Cosmo India hiehehehehiehe:P ga ding, sayahnya aja yang bandel mah waktu di airport karena jeansku basah jadi pake rok mini, mana penerbangan malam lage, untung atasannya lengan panjang heihehiehe kata ikan kali kakinya masuk angin [?]

btw, saya melewatkan ultah kakakku!! happy Bday bro..dikau sehh pake acara sakit segala jadinya yah makan-makannya ditundaaaa
trus Happy Valentine's Day! *.* saya kirim card sama seseorang, juga pic katanya seh dimasukin dompet hiahAHAHAHHIAA ga tahu lah...biar ada pic gadis di dompet;) heihehehheihe
trus ya sisanya sayah sakit semuahhh! hihhihi sampai ke dokter segala, untung bukan dokter perjalanan itu, kalo enggak dah cerewet dia..mana obatnya keras abis, yang ada juga jantingku berdebar-debarm, susah tidur, susah nafas sebel... sekarang back to normal ajah deh..egp...

p.s. buat penyebar virusnya : lain kali saya kasih tuh HARMONY! Made in India jek hiehehhehehiehe;p

udahan ah...ga bisa banyak-banyak...belum kuat ngetiknyah...btw..still missing u much:)

I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

P.e.A.c.e
There's a place that I know, where the sycamores grow
And daffodils have their fun
Where the cares of the day seem to slowly fade away
And the glow of the evening sun
Peace, when the day is done

If I go there real late; let my mind meditate
On everything to be done
If I search deep inside; let my conscience be my guide
Then the answers are sure to come
Don't have to worry none

When you find peace of mind, leave your worries behind
Don't say that it can't be done
With a new point of view, life's true meaning comes to you
And the freedom you seek is won
Peace is for everyone
Peace is for everyone
Peace is for everyone

january 29th,04
huahhuaaua
kangen ayang ih sebel....pada kemana yah dia?
hmmm...kok tiba-tiba menghilang begitu saja?
apa dia buat komitmen baru kalo di tahun yang baru kagak mau selingkuh lagi?
hmm.. yang pasti seneng banget waktu call dia masih ingat namaku..
sometimes it is torturing but i'm glad he's alive
ain't that all your prayers were about?;o)

bahasa jerman bikin addicted! heiheihiehie kali karena banyakan
HausAufgabe jadinyah setiap hari sentuh bukunya moloww!:P
semoga deh bisa mengerti sedikit demi sedikit lol
ich gern deutschkurs:P

ps. fur Lehrerin: meinchmal sie ist dumm! hUIAhAHIAIHAIHIA...

-----------------
ON THE WINGS OF PRAYER
[on behalf of Els : u are the teacher!]

Just close your eyes and open your heart
and feel your worries and cares depart,
just yield yourself to the Father above
and let Him hold you secure in His love-
for life on earth grows more involved
with endless problems that can't be solved-
but God only asks us to do our best,
then He will "take over" and finish the rest
so when you're tired, discouraged and blue,
there's always one door that is open for you-
and that is the door to "the house of prayer"
and you'll find God waiting to meet you there,
and "the house of prayer" is no farther away
than the quiet spot where you kneel and pray-
for the heart is a temple when God is there
as we place ourselves in His loving care,
and He hears every prayer and answers each one
when we pray in His name "thy will be done"-
and the burdens that seemed too heavy to bear
are lifted away on "the wings of prayer"

SOMEONE SOMEWHERE

someone somewhere must have said
a little prayer for me
i know now how it came about-
but quietly, secretly
the weight was lifted from my heart
there came a strange relief
a sudden relaxation, from the tyranny of grief
the love of life stole in once more,
like sunshine after rain;
the future beckoned and i followed
finding joy again.
i know how it happened, it was all mystery
but someone somewhere must have said
a little prayer for me..

ONLY PASSING BY

we are only passing by, we are not here to stay
life is like a pelgrimage we pass upon our way
from birth to death, for the road is durty, dark and long
and others tread a fair and flowery pathway with a song
but we are only passing by;
our destination lies far byond the golden reaches of the evening skies
life on earth is just a brief adventure of the soul
as it travels ever towards to an unseen goal
make it now that gesture of forgiveness and love;
do it now, while there is light e'er darkness falls above.
when we see the permanence of earth and sea and sky
often we forget, that we are only passing by

ROOM W/OUT A DOOR

the mind is a room without a door
open to whatever passes by
influence from the outer world enter
through the ear and through the eye
thoughts come pressing in upon the brain
right or wrong unceasing hour by hour
striving for the mystery within,
good and evil forces seizing power
the mind is like a room without a door
open to the vagrant thoughts that roam
seeking for a place to occupy
restless spirits looking for a home
so the will must stand a sentinel
ready with the question "who was there?"

SEARCH YOUR HEART

if you say you have no cares
then selfish you must be;
can you hug your happiness and your security
knowing that beyond the door
there's misery and grief?
people crying out for help,
for comfort and relief..
you cannot feed the hungry
millions of the world outside
you cannot ease their sufferings
as for their wants profide,
but in your own small circle
there is somebody in need
of love and companionship
it is not a virtue to exsist contentedly
if you never think of others "HAPPY" you may be
but search your heart
and if you're honest, you will never rest,
till someone else is happy too
and someone else is blessed.

EVERYWHERE ACROSS THE LAND YOU SEE GOD'S FACE AND TOUCH HIS HAND

each time you look up in the sky
or watch the fluffy clouds drift by
or feel the sunshine warm and bright
or watch the dark night turn to light
or hear a bluebird gayly sing
or see the winter turn to spring
or stop to pick a daffodil
or gather violets on some hill
or touch a leaf or see a tree
it's all God whispering "this is Me..
and I am faith and I am light
and in Me there shall be no night"

desperado prayer:
Duh Gusti nyuwun ngapuro, paringono bojo ngganteng, sak ngganteng nngantee menuso...

xixixixixix...asal yah tapi yah gpp maklum baru diajarin jadi yah diapalin..kali aja salah cara nulisnya, who careslah as long as u got the idea!:P
woalahh beberapa hari ini adanya olaharaga aja udah hIAHAHAHHAa..sibuk pisan euy;p *gayaa* pokoknya mondar mandir ajah deh keknya rentalan dah pada bosen liat wajahku hUAHHAHAUHA harap maklum yah, kalo gua punya printer juga ga bakalan show up ke rental-rental kalian itu...xixixixi
semoga diberkatilah diriku ini biar bapaknya mau-mau aja acc skripsi gua hieheheie..by the way "pada dasarnya saya setuju..." ughh i love that old man!:P
ajubilee..lagunya asek tenan..if i could turn back the hands of time..heihehie gpp lah ga usah turn back the time, but i wish i had a chance to touch u [one more time] then i'll b glad joinin u in silent :)

p.s. aku berdamai dengan diriku heiheheiheiie;)

hmm... luv ya for no reason ;)

oct 30,2003
22.07
the last fasting <>

. no conversation. aneh!!
whats on ur mind?
tidak kosong. pusing...

. naik monyet?? beuh..berdoa saja agar dia bertobat!!
heran, sepertinya dia tidak pernah merasa secure
TERANCAM!!
monyet adalah stress
dan stress adalah MENULAR
atau DITULARI, there's no better word.
monyet adalah HEDONIS
dan hedonis dia menumpul
monyet adalah KEHILANGAN!
dan kehilangan dia adalah hatinya
monyet adalah RAHASIA
karena yang dia inginkan adalah menjadi ICON
dalam benakmu, dalam hatimu
sebenarnya
monyet adalah VIRUS
and i'm fucking sick knowing
that i'm infected..

. tak ada kata yang dapat mendeskripsikan seorang M.O.N.Y.E.T
kecuali STOP affair, marry someone and settle down OR
D.I.E. instead !!

==============in[V]ect.ion=================

17.12.03
Can You Keep A Secret??

when the dog bites, when the bee stings, aku hanya perlu mengingat
bahwa aku punya pacar - dan tiba-tiba segalanya tidak terlalu tampak
berantakan [ispired by The Sound of Music]

orang yang tidak dikenal artinya mereka menguap ke udara, tidak pernah
terlihat lagi!

set dah..knape kalimat [DT] selalu touching...hebat banget..ga mungkin kalo cuman
sekedar NULIS doang..pasti ada reason behind..dengerin ajah:

Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?
bener-bener a question of life. apa mereka belajar filsafat apa yah??
lalu :
They say, "Life is too short,"
"The here and the now"
And "You're only given one shot" [remember that always!]
But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that we've got?

If I die tomorrow
I'd be all right
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on
Whoahhh kagak tahan dengernyahhhhh!!:(

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I'm not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

"Move on, be brave
Don't weep at my grave
Because I am no longer here
But please never let
Your memory of me disappear" << andainya ada yang bilang gini..

Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again
Victoria's real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that I'm here
It's perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means

Hopefully i can be finally peace with my mind..with you.


januari 12th,04
dah beberapa saat ini stuck..on my mind.kayak ada yang ilang..emang ilang sih..
resahh buset emang iya:P bleH..hanya satu dalam pikiran: are u alrite??
ga ada yang lebih anxious dari itu..kalo denger delivered wuichh..senengnyah
tapi kalo pending rese pisan xixix untunglah ada temen-temen yang selalu
stand *.*
sekarang dah rada lega, i have to move on.this is a new year.and someday
u must love me..
---------------
i know u've changed. but i dont know why.maybe wrong person i don't know..
god, give me strength.kuatkanlah kakiku untuk selalu menapak dalam jalanMU.

jan 13th,04
11.25 am

this is what i call world is a round..

baru pulang...bleh kenape seh pake acara pindah segala?? mana kagak dibilang lagi pindah kemana..aku nelp aja semua nomor..selalu aja bilangnya dah pindah, ya udah pulang..ngurusin skripsi bab 5..kamis liat lagi perkembangannya..kejar tayang aku harus ke jakarta by the end of january shit...
by the way banyak yang aneh deh..mo ceritain juga neh blogger bakal dibaca banyak orang..jadi ga enak nulisnya heiehe but whatta hell.. this is my blog anywayz..
it's kinda bother me ye know..itchy! it's really a circle and i dont think i will like this circumstance. when u care people, u dont want somethin in return, thats what i always look up to. but why then suddenly u want it pay back?? emotionally pay back..silly gut! maybe to cover the worries inside or to eliminate the longing,whats the diff ?
This is what you want..if this is the way u got peace in mind and soul, i will do it for you. consider it as my pay back..

slowly but sure..i will hate you in regret

jan 10th,04

remuk. ada yang hilang.

i lost my soul.....

jan 06,04

bleHh..baru sembuh sakit..jelek yah kalimatnya heihehhe tahun baru kok sakit hihhih tapi gak apa apa..behind my illness banyak banget yang dah terjadii!!!! heihehieiehe tunggu aja deh kalo dah sembuh baru kuat ngetiknyahh:)

happy new year everybody!

im not..

ok..it aint easy, i know..well.. so whatcha gonna do? this is what i called life. messed up, i lost control and i think i dont really like it. at all..
like u are trapped between angel and devil, dry and wet, hot and cold, man and woman, parents and children, strong and weak,friend and enemy, like and dislike, hairy and bold, happy and tears, health and sick, life and death... between heaven and earth.

tapi TUHANmu mengukur langit dan bumi hanya dengan jengkalnya...

dec 17.o3
harusnya ada yang datang neh heiehie berhubung berhalangan jadinya ditunda deh gpp soalnya aku juga kan mo pegi, ntar ga ada yang nemenin xixixi..ntar march aja baru dateng yah! *pede*

hmmm dah lama ga ol, lama juga kagak ngisi blognya..[beneran ga seh lama ga ol?? hayoo...].. kemaren kemaren mah ada ide nulisnya, cuman males ahh..nantilah kapan kapan aja baru masukin lage BleH &%^&^(**^$%^$)
nehhh lagu buat kamu..tangkappp!!


There’s no need to argue anymore.
I gave all I could but it left me so sore
And the thing that makes me mad
is the one thing that I had

I knew, I knew, I’d lose you.
You’ll always be special to me,
special to me, to me.

And I remember all the things we once shared.
Watching tv movies on the living room armchair.

But they say it will work out fine.
Was it all a waste of time
cause I knew, I knew, I’d lose you

You’ll always be special to me,
special to me, to me.

Will I forget in time.
You said I was on your mind.
There’s no need to argue,
No need to argue anymore.
There’s no need to argue anymore.
Special.

dec 9th,03
1.02 pm

hMmm..kagak ada kerjaan, nemenin teman ..tadi ada mood seh pen buat poster buat skripsi [aneh kan yah?] xixxixi dosennya funkee,outlinenyah harus dalam bentuk poster..barusan beli kertas poster..semalam kagak bisa bobo [bukan karena ituuu lho ya...!]:P tapi hati berdebar debar *dramatis* hehehe soalnya mikir skripsi lol jadinya pagi bangun trus buat outlinenyah..ga mau mandi ah kalo belon selesai lol..
dah selesai tinggal dipindahin aja..makan trus pergi lagi..ujann ugh..mana pakaian susahh keringnyah apalagi jeans getu bleH !
oiyaa..bokap datang heihehe as usual lahh ketemuan cuman beberapa minutes trus ya udah pegi lagi dia xixixi..jadi communicatenyah telpon-telponan ajahh..aneh yah tinggal sekota kagak ketemuan:P
uhmm uhmmm tadi sempet ketemu pacarnyah handuk biru ol *lariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hehehe tapi lagi jauh dianyah jadinya centil ajaa kita di #
trus jadi inget deh ama hotel di magelang heihehiehie pengenn ke sanaaa! ntar lah kapan kapan kalo punya duit! lol...gile aja harganya ajubileee...kaul kali kalo lulusan ajahh!:P
uhmm iseng ah buat list..co kek gimana seh yang lu suka? hahahaha

like : sensehh [bisa nangis], bisa nari, suka ketawa, has nice eyes
dislike : tukang merintah![enak aja], geek,moody [bleh!]
something like that..rotfl

p.s. knape ada yang senang yah?? bleh..

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
These are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

Ahhhhh

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to


p.s. set dah...pulang kagak yah?

NATAL TELAH TIBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!! Asekk asekkkk, renew your heart, body and soul !! ;o)

dec 02.03
16.05

Uhmm...saya punya secret admirer kah?? Uhmm..cuek ahh silahkan ngisi shoutboxnyahh semoga kunjungan anda menyenangkan dan memuaskan *.* jangan malu-malu ngisinyah yah, kalo bisa sekalian sama email add, biar aku minta sama adminnya buat masukin jadi writer juga. Mau kan yahhh?? biar bakatnya tersalurkan:)))

nov 29.03

last conV:
heieihiehiheie finally i saw u anyway...
virus virus...WORM! :P

nov 27.03
1.41 pm

bleH ....cold..seems frozen. but im glad u come..AT LAST :o)

HAPPY IDUL FITRI 1424 H
MINAL AIDZIN WAL FAIDZIN
MOHON MAAF LAHIR BATIN...